“unholy vanity” leads many to “The Downhill Slide”.
May all be blessed to ask God: “Please! Let me get off “The Downhill Slide”! ~ Question 1: “What is the ‘unholy vanity’ that confuses many Christians?” Answer: “Willful Protestants are too confused to recognize that Every Word of Jesus Christ is Universal Truth.” ~ Question 2: “What makes Willful Protestants too confused to recognize […]
Many realize: Protestantism is the root of all evil. 3
The results of willful disobedience. Catholics understand This Fact! Those who knowingly and willfully disobey Any Instruction from Jesus Christ cannot be forever among “You are My friends if you obey My commands.” Protestants have always invented reasons to disobey This Instruction from Jesus Christ. “And I say unto you thou art Peter and on […]
A great money-making idea from Schism Seminary!
All of us here at Schism Seminary are very excited about our new “Make Them Feel Important Services!” It’s time for you to schedule our latest, proven fund-raiser. It is our new “Veterans Outreach for Jesus Ministry”. Most of the veterans in your congregation have a deep need to be appreciated. On Veteran’s Day, your […]
The Six Day Plus Two Adventisters
Bored Protestants are excited by the newest Protestant denomination, The Six Day Plus Two Adventisters. The widely respected Reverend Knowal Blowhardt has an impressive resume! He is an Old Testament scholar. He’s also a semi-professional astronomer! He served as an Assistant sub-Deacon in one denomination! He led an Organizing Drive for another former denomination’s Ushers’ […]
The history of Protestantism
The history of Protestantism is clear. 45,000 denominations have been invented by ambitious men. All 45,000 believed one thing: “My denomination is the best!” Most Marketing Plan Denominations gain credibility by incorporating words from Catholic Church. Presbyterians are named after Presbyters, an early name for Catholic priests. Baptists are named after their favorite Sacrament. The […]
A question for some denominations:
I am overweight and dying from a rare glandular disorder. I wanted Pastor Bob to Baptize me at his Church of The Perfect Baptism. He has the patented Baptismal Font. It looks just like a short section of The River Jordan, where Jesus was Baptized! Actual water was shipped over from The River Jordan. It […]
“Jesus, this is Jimmy!”
A Protestant Man with a Marketing Plan! When Calvin was a boy, his parents took him to hear an evangelist. He told the “Jesus, this is Jimmy!” story. As Jimmy grew up, he announced to God every day: “Jesus, this is Jimmy!” After a lifetime of saying “Jesus, this is Jimmy!”, Jimmy died. He went […]
Some worship golden calves.
1 Kings, 12:26-33 and 13: 33-34 is a history of how Old Testament Protestants kept many from returning to The Faith God provided. Some worship golden calves. “Jeroboam thought to himself: “The kingdom will return to David’s house. If now this people go up to offer sacrifices in the temple of the LORD in Jerusalem […]
Pastor Bob’s Church of The Perfect Baptism!
. Is Pastor Bob the smartest Profiteer of Protestantism in History? ~ Pastor Bob’s Church of The Perfect Baptism! has made a great step forward! “Catholics and old-fashioned Protestant denominations baptize babies by pouring or […]
“the newly saved soul” doesn’t need Jesus.
Popular Protestant platitudes include variations of “the newly saved soul” announcing: “I was born and raised Catholic. The priest told us that if we ever read The Bible we would die and be sent straight to hell. When I was a Catholic, we worshiped Mary. We were told to bow down before statues of Saints […]