One of the people at Catholic Fundamentalism had a letter this morning from our dear friend, Pastor Pitstop. He has been angry with us about praying to Mary. He does not think there is a level playing field when it comes to religion.
“It’s not fair! We all know that Mary was Jesus’ Mother. Everybody knows that. We just hate it when you go on and on about Mary. “Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with Thee. Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the Fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.”
You guys say that, every day, all the time. It’s wrong. It isn’t fair, and that’s all there is to it. It just isn’t right.
After you’ve said your “Hail Marys”, you Catholics ask her to ask Jesus to help you. You want a new job. You want a new car. You want this, you want that. You want someone to be helped with something. So, you’re all the time, asking Mary to ask her Son to help you!
It isn’t fair. We Protestants can’t ask Mary for help. I need more people in my congregaton. I need a new furnace. Actually, I need a furnace for my house and one for the church, too. I need two furnaces! It’s freezing!
Sure, I can ask God for help. I can ask Jesus for help. I can ask The Holy Spirit for help. Sometimes, I get it. But, sometimes I get the feeling they really don’t want to hear me.
I complained about this to a real rich Catholic guy who started coming to my Padded-Pew Perkmistianist Church when he married that young stunner who looks so adoringly at him. Well, not as much as she used to. “How come God isn’t listening to me? I asked him. “He seems to listen to you guys. You get four masses a weekend, and lots more people at every one of them than I get at our Easter service. I pray for more people to join my church all the time. I never get them.”
He thought about it for a minute, as we waited for his new wife to come out of the church and join us. He looked off into space. “Mary.” he said. “You guys don’t have Mary.”
“What difference does that make?”, I wanted to know.
“Remember the Wedding Feast of Cana? They ran out of wine in the middle of the wedding dinner. It was embarrassing because everyone was about to find out the bride’s family had run out of money, too. One of them must have asked Mary if she could help. She knew Jesus could help, and told Him to. He didn’t want to, but He went to the waiters. Mary called after Him, to the waiters doing the work, ‘You do what He tells you.’ They filled up the big stone jars with water, and He turned it into wine. Saved the wedding day!”
I shook my head. “What’s the point of that?”
As he looked at me, a thoughtful furrow appeared between his eyes. “You really don’t get it, do you? Jesus used Cana to tell every Christian that He would listen to His Mother and honor her requests to Him. When you ask Mary to intercede for you, He is more likely to do what she asks Him, just like at Cana.”
A thought occured to me. “Maybe, I should ask Mary to help my church.”
“Would she want Jesus to help a church that refused to follow His orders? Would she ask Jesus to help a church that refused to believe what He said, ‘If you do not eat My Body and drink My Blood, you do not have life in you.’? I’m afraid you guys are stuck.”
We heard youthful giggles coming our way out the church. “I think I am, too.” he said.