Weekly Readings with Catholic Fundamentalist Interpretation

April 11, 2010
Second Sunday of Easter

Acts 5:12-16

Many signs and wonders were done among the people
at the hands of the apostles.
They were all together in Solomon’s portico.
None of the others dared to join them, but the people esteemed them.
Yet more than ever, believers in the Lord,
great numbers of men and women, were added to them.
Thus they even carried the sick out into the streets
and laid them on cots and mats
so that when Peter came by,
at least his shadow might fall on one or another of them.
A large number of people from the towns
in the vicinity of Jerusalem also gathered,
bringing the sick and those disturbed by unclean spirits,
and they were all cured.

Ps 118:2-4, 13-15, 22-24Responsorial Psalm
R. (1) Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, his love is everlasting.
Let the house of Israel say,
“His mercy endures forever.”
Let the house of Aaron say,
“His mercy endures forever.”
Let those who fear the LORD say,
“His mercy endures forever.”
R. Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, his love is everlasting.
I was hard pressed and was falling,
but the LORD helped me.
My strength and my courage is the LORD,
and he has been my savior.
The joyful shout of victory
in the tents of the just:
R. Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, his love is everlasting.
The stone which the builders rejected
has become the cornerstone.
By the LORD has this been done;
it is wonderful in our eyes.
This is the day the LORD has made;
let us be glad and rejoice in it.
R. Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, his love is everlasting.

Rev 1:9-11a, 12-13, 17-19Reading 2
I, John, your brother, who share with you
the distress, the kingdom, and the endurance we have in Jesus,
found myself on the island called Patmos
because I proclaimed God’s word and gave testimony to Jesus.
I was caught up in spirit on the Lord’s day
and heard behind me a voice as loud as a trumpet, which said,
“Write on a scroll what you see.”
Then I turned to see whose voice it was that spoke to me,
and when I turned, I saw seven gold lampstands
and in the midst of the lampstands one like a son of man,
wearing an ankle-length robe, with a gold sash around his chest.

When I caught sight of him, I fell down at his feet as though dead.
He touched me with his right hand and said, “Do not be afraid.
I am the first and the last, the one who lives.
Once I was dead, but now I am alive forever and ever.
I hold the keys to death and the netherworld.
Write down, therefore, what you have seen,
and what is happening, and what will happen afterwards.”

Jn 20:19-31Gospel
On the evening of that first day of the week,
when the doors were locked, where the disciples were,
for fear of the Jews,
Jesus came and stood in their midst
and said to them, “Peace be with you.”
When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side.
The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord.
Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you.
As the Father has sent me, so I send you.”
And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them,
“Receive the Holy Spirit.
Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them,
and whose sins you retain are retained.”

Thomas, called Didymus, one of the Twelve,
was not with them when Jesus came.
So the other disciples said to him, “We have seen the Lord.”
But he said to them,
“Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands
and put my finger into the nailmarks
and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”

Now a week later his disciples were again inside
and Thomas was with them.
Jesus came, although the doors were locked,
and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.”
Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands,
and bring your hand and put it into my side,
and do not be unbelieving, but believe.”
Thomas answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!”
Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me?
Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”

Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples
that are not written in this book.
But these are written that you may come to believe
that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God,
and that through this belief you may have life in his name.

Catholic Fundamentalism Interpretation:

 

(After the Resurrection) Christ's disciples showed that they had the power to reprogram the programmed entities, performing miracles among the people.  They were all together in Solomon's Portico, and none of the establishment had the courage to join with them, but the people respected them (and what they could do/because of what they could do).

More and more people came to believe that Jesus was the Messiah.

They even carried the sick out to the streets so that when Peter came by, his shadow might fall on some of them.

Many out-of-towners came, and brought the sick and those disturbed by evil spirits.  The disciples were able to show their power by curing the sick and driving the demons away, restoring all their programs.

 

 

Thank The Loving Programmer, for He is good, and loves us forever.

Let those among the saved say "His Mercy endures forever."

Let the priests say, "His mercy endures forever."

Let those who fear Him say the same thing.

 

Thank The Loving Programmer, for He is good and loves us forever.

My individual program was in danger of being damaged and erased.  But, The Loving Programmer provided programming assistance.  He is my strength and courage, causing the just to shout in victory.

Thank The Loving Programmer, for He is good and loves us forever.

Those who were to follow His programming instructions rejected Him, which is what He wanted (to deny self-worshippers salvation).

This is the time that The Loving Programmer has scheduled to be downloaded.  We should be glad, and rejoice in it.

Thank The Loving Programmer, for He is good and loves us forever.

 

I, John, am the brother of those who share the pain, the Kingdom, and the strength we have in Christ (The Living Program) and found myself exiled on the Island of Patmos, simply for telling people about Jesus.

One Sunday, I was caught up (within The Holy Wireless Connector), and heard a trumpet-like voice say "Write on a scroll what you see downloaded (for you)."

I turned to see who spoke, and saw seven gold lampstands (the churches), in the midst of which was Jesus Christ, Who wore an ankle-length robe (like a King) with a gold sash around His chest.

 

When I saw Him, I fell at His feet, as if dead.  He touched me (provided programming assistance) with His right hand, and told me "Don't be afraid.  I was since the beginning (when The Programmer wrote The Program), I am here, now;  and I will be forever.  Once, My Program was erased, but now I have had it (Myself) fully restored forever.  I have authority over the Judgment Programs, and decide where people will go after they leave this earth.  Write this down, letting people know what you've seen, what is being downloaded, and what will be downloaded later."

 

 

The evening of the first day of the week, the disciples hid behind locked doors, afraid of the Jews (and the Romans who did their bidding).  Jesus, (The Program, restored) stood amidst them, saying "Peace be with you.".  Then, He showed them His hands and the hole in His side. 

The disciples were elated.  He said to them, once more, "Peace by with you.  As The Loving Programmer has sent me, so I am sending you (to save those who will be saved)."  Then, He breathed on them, and said, "Receive The Holy Wireless Connector (that you may be joined with The Loving Programmer and Me through Him).  You now have been given the power to forgive sins, and if you forgive them, they will be forgiven (at Judgment).  If you don't forgive them, they stay with them."

Thomas, one of the Disciples, wasn't there when Jesus appeared among them.  The others told him, "We've seen Jesus!"

He replied, "I won't believe unless I see the nailmarks in His hands and actually touch them and the hole in His side."

 

A week later, the Disciples were again locked into the room, along with Thomas.  Jesus came, though the doors were locked, stood in their midst, and said, "Peace be with you."

Then, He said to Thomas, "Put your finger here, and see My hands.  Bring your hand, and put it into My side and stop being an unbeliever, but believe."

Thomas replied, "My Lord and my God!"

Jesus said, "Have you come to believe because you've seen Me?  Blessed are those who have not seen (Me) and believed."

 

Jesus performed many other miracles in their presence that I'm not writing down.  I've told you about these so that you may believe that Jesus Christ (The Living, Obedient Program in human form) is the Son (The Living Program, created from the beginning) of God.  Through this (and no other) belief you may have (eternal) life in His name.