Catholic Fundamentalists think that God programmed wolves, coyotes, and jackals so that people could use them as a “Canine Source Code” with which we are able to program various “dog programs” to do different jobs.
Some dogs are programmed to hunt raccoons, others are programmed to run down gazelles. Others are bred to guide the blind and protect the home. From yapping lap dogs to intense sheepdogs to terrifying growls from a mastiff, each classic breed of dog is the result of long generations of dog breeders who have succeeded in re-programming a replicating program for specific tasks.
We were given the dog programs so that we could see that the difference between man and dog is not utterly different from the comparison between man and God. We can see how helpless we are when given a hard problem, like wiring a four-way light switch. Similarly, we can see how impossible it is for the dog when given difficult problems, like changing a tire.
We can also see how an obedient dog is pleasing to his master. When we look at what we like in a dog, we see almost exactly what God likes to see in us. He wants us to be brave, cheerful, not yap excessively, not chew the furniture or go to the bathroom inside, and be obedient.
One is struck with a question. As God is able to decide if we have been faithful and obedient enough to get into Heaven, can we decide if our dog should go to Doggy Heaven?
Just asking.
