Ash Wednesday
Reading 1
Even now, says the LORD,
return to me with your whole heart,
with fasting, and weeping, and mourning;
Rend your hearts, not your garments,
and return to the LORD, your God.
For gracious and merciful is he,
slow to anger, rich in kindness,
and relenting in punishment.
Perhaps he will again relent
and leave behind him a blessing,
Offerings and libations
for the LORD, your God.
Blow the trumpet in Zion!
proclaim a fast,
call an assembly;
Gather the people,
notify the congregation;
Assemble the elders,
gather the children
and the infants at the breast;
Let the bridegroom quit his room
and the bride her chamber.
Between the porch and the altar
let the priests, the ministers of the LORD, weep,
And say, “Spare, O LORD, your people,
and make not your heritage a reproach,
with the nations ruling over them!
Why should they say among the peoples,
‘Where is their God?’”
Then the LORD was stirred to concern for his land
and took pity on his people.
Ps 51:3-4, 5-6ab, 12-13, 14 and 17Responsorial Psalm
R. (see 3a) Be merciful, O Lord, for we have sinned.
Have mercy on me, O God, in your goodness;
in the greatness of your compassion wipe out my offense.
Thoroughly wash me from my guilt
and of my sin cleanse me.
R. Be merciful, O Lord, for we have sinned.
For I acknowledge my offense,
and my sin is before me always:
“Against you only have I sinned,
and done what is evil in your sight.”
R. Be merciful, O Lord, for we have sinned.
A clean heart create for me, O God,
and a steadfast spirit renew within me.
Cast me not out from your presence,
and your Holy Spirit take not from me.
R. Be merciful, O Lord, for we have sinned.
Give me back the joy of your salvation,
and a willing spirit sustain in me.
O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth shall proclaim your praise.
R. Be merciful, O Lord, for we have sinned.
2 Cor 5:20-6:2Reading 2
Brothers and sisters:
We are ambassadors for Christ,
as if God were appealing through us.
We implore you on behalf of Christ,
be reconciled to God.
For our sake he made him to be sin who did not know sin,
so that we might become the righteousness of God in him.
Working together, then,
we appeal to you not to receive the grace of God in vain.
For he says:
In an acceptable time I heard you,
and on the day of salvation I helped you.
Behold, now is a very acceptable time;
behold, now is the day of salvation.
Mt 6:1-6, 16-18Gospel
Jesus said to his disciples:
“Take care not to perform righteous deeds
in order that people may see them;
otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father.
When you give alms,
do not blow a trumpet before you,
as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets
to win the praise of others.
Amen, I say to you,
they have received their reward.
But when you give alms,
do not let your left hand know what your right is doing,
so that your almsgiving may be secret.
And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.
“When you pray,
do not be like the hypocrites,
who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners
so that others may see them.
Amen, I say to you,
they have received their reward.
But when you pray, go to your inner room,
close the door, and pray to your Father in secret.
And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.
“When you fast,
do not look gloomy like the hypocrites.
They neglect their appearance,
so that they may appear to others to be fasting.
Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.
But when you fast,
anoint your head and wash your face,
so that you may not appear to be fasting,
except to your Father who is hidden.
And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you.”
Catholic Fundamentalism Interpretation:
Even now (after all the wrong that you have done) return to me with your whole heart, making every effort to erase your sins and be prepared to download My goodness within you. Open your hearts, not your clothing, and return to The Loving Programmer (Who programmed and downloaded you into being). For The Loving Programmer is gracious and merciful. He is slow to anger, and abounds in kindness. He is relenting in punishment. Maybe, He will again relent and leave behind Him a blessing.
Bring offerings and libations for The Loving Programmer. Blow the trumpet in among His holy people! Proclaim a fast, call an assembly, gather the people, notify the congregation.
Assemble the elders, gather the children and the infants at the breast; let the bride and bridegroom leave each other and gather.
Between the porch and the altar, let the priests, the ministers of The Loving Programmer, weep, and say
"Spare, O Loving Programmer, those who believe in and have faith in You.
Don’t make what You have left behind a reproach, with nations ruling them!
Why should they say among the peoples, ‘Where is He Who brought them into being?’"
Then, The Loving Programmer was stirred to concern for His land and took pity on His people (and restored their programs so that they might download His glory).
Restore our living programs, O Loving Programmer, for we have downloaded error within them.
Have mercy on me, O Loving Programmer, in Your goodness. In the greatness of Your compassion, erase my error. Wash away my guilt for having erred and of that error, erase it.
Restore our living programs, O Loving Programmer, for we have downloaded error within them.
For I acknowledge that I have erred and done what is evil in Your sight. "Against You only have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight."
Restore our living programs, O Loving Programmer, for we have downloaded error within them.
Erase all my errors , O Loving Programmer, and let me not sin again. Keep me connected with Your Holy Wireless Connector.
Restore our living programs, O Loving Programmer, for we have downloaded error within them.
Give me back the joy of having my program joined with Yours, and keep me willing to be with You. Let my proclaim Your praise.
Brothers and sisters, we tell people about The Program Who came among us as if The Loving Programmer were appealing to them through us.
We implore you, in the name of The Living Program, Who came among us in perfect, human, obedient form and want’s you to download His truth (and His Body and Blood). For our sake, The Loving Programmer made Him to be error who did not know error so that we might become The Loving Programmer’s righteousness in Him. Working together, we appeal to you not to receive His grace in vain.
Because, He says, "At the right point in the running of The Creation Program, I heard you. On the day of salvation, I helped you.
Behold, now is the time that you may have The Program downloaded within you and upload yourself into The Program. Today is the day you may be saved.
Jesus said to His disciples: "Take care that you don’t do things so that other people will see them and be impressed with you. If you do that, you’ll receive no reward from The Loving Programmer (who knows your every thought and is impossible to fool).
When you give alms, keep quiet about it, don’t blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in churches and on the streets to win praise from other people.
"Amen, I tell you, that’s the only reward they get, a few minutes of shallow praise from shallow people. When you give alms, don’t even let your right hand know what your left is doing. Keep your almsgiving secret.
"And, The Loving Father, from whom nothing is secret, will repay you.
"When you ask for programming assistance, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to make a big thing out of praying in churches and on the street corners so that other people may see them.
"Amen, I say to you, they have already received their reward, the quickly passing praise from people.
But, when you pray, go to an inner room, close the door, and pray to The Loving Programmer secretly. And, He Who programmed you will repay you.
"When you fast,
don’t go around looking like you’re suffering, like the hypocrites. They don’t wash, wear dirty cloths, and don’t shave so they may appear to be fasting.
Amen, I say to you, they have received their only reward, the passing praise of people, even those who see through their sham.
When you fast, keep clean, wash your face, cut your hair, and look good. Don’t appear to be fasting, except to The Programmer Who brought all into being. He, Who sees what is hidden (in the hearts of men) will repay you."
