Bible Reading January 1

Enjoy this week’s Bible Reading January 1, 2012 is brought to you by Catholic Fundamentalism.

Reading 1 Nm 6:22-27

The LORD said to Moses:
“Speak to Aaron and his sons and tell them:
This is how you shall bless the Israelites.
Say to them:
The LORD bless you and keep you!
The LORD let his face shine upon
you, and be gracious to you!
The LORD look upon you kindly and
give you peace!
So shall they invoke my name upon the Israelites,
and I will bless them.”

 

 

Responsorial Psalm Ps 67:2-3, 5, 6, 8.

R. (2a) May God bless us in his mercy.
May God have pity on us and bless us;
may he let his face shine upon us.
So may your way be known upon earth;
among all nations, your salvation.

R. May God bless us in his mercy.
May the nations be glad and exult
because you rule the peoples in equity;
the nations on the earth you guide.

R. May God bless us in his mercy.
May the peoples praise you, O God;
may all the peoples praise you!
May God bless us,
and may all the ends of the earth fear him!
R. May God bless us in his mercy.

 

Reading 2 Gal 4:4-7

Brothers and sisters:
When the fullness of time had come, God sent his Son,
born of a woman, born under the law,
to ransom those under the law,
so that we might receive adoption as sons.
As proof that you are sons,
God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts,
crying out, “Abba, Father!”
So you are no longer a slave but a son,
and if a son then also an heir, through God.

 

 

Gospel Lk 2:16-21

The shepherds went in haste to Bethlehem and found Mary and Joseph,
and the infant lying in the manger.
When they saw this,
they made known the message
that had been told them about this child.
All who heard it were amazed
by what had been told them by the shepherds.
And Mary kept all these things,
reflecting on them in her heart.
Then the shepherds returned,
glorifying and praising God
for all they had heard and seen,
just as it had been told to them.

When eight days were completed for his circumcision,
he was named Jesus, the name given him by the angel
before he was conceived in the womb.

 

Catholic Fundamentalism Interpretation

 

The Loving Programmer told Moses, one of his favorite and most faithful human programs, “Speak to the leader of My priests and the beginning of his inherited priestly office, telling them this is the way to bless all those in the Twelve Tribes:

‘The Loving Programmer keep you among His favored human programs.  Let His Programming Power always access you.  May The Loving Programmer want to help you while providing peace!’

In that way, My priests will bring My Name upon My chosen peoples and I will provide programming assistance to them.”

 

R.  May The Loving Programmer, in His mercy, provide us with programming assistance.

May The Loving Programmer see and meet our needs, may He look kindly upon us.  In that way, His power will manifest itself among those whom He has blessed, showing the nations how to be saved.

R.  May The Loving Programmer, in His mercy, provide us with programming assistance.

May the world’s nations be glad and exult because You rule (all) peoples in equity; guiding all the nations on earth.

R.  May The Loving Programmer, in His mercy, provide us with programming assistance.

May (all?) the peoples praise You, Loving Programmer, all of them!  May The Loving Programmer provide us such assistance that all in The Creation Program fear Him!

R.  May The Loving Programmer, in His mercy, provide us with programming assistance.

 

 

Fellow believers:

When The Creation Program reached the appointed time, The Loving Programmer downloaded The Program, Jesus Christ, in perfect, obedient, human form to be born of a (sinless) woman.  He was born according to The Creation Program to erase the viruses that had infected those in it so that we may receive the same access to Him that a son would receive from a loving father.

To prove that you are that beloved, The Loving Programmer sent the Holy Wireless Connector to join our hearts to Him, crying “Abba, Father!”  Therefore, you are no longer a slave (operated by the virus), but a son, and, therefore, an heir, to The Loving Programmer.

 

 

Those blue-collar workers (followed the angel’s instructions, and) went to Bethlehem and found Mary and Joseph, and The Program, who took perfect, obedient, human form and was lying in the manger in which He’d come to be born.  When the shepherds saw this, they told people about the message they’d received about This Child.

All who heard it were amazed by what the shepherds told them.

And Mary kept all these things, and thought deeply about them.

Then, the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising The Loving Programmer for what they (had been chosen to) have heard and seen (the very Download from Heaven) just as they had been told.

When the eight days had passed so that He could be circumcised, He was named Jesus, the name that the angel had given Him before He was conceived in the womb (of the Sinless Woman ordained from the very beginning).