An Attempt at Reconciling Catholic Fundamentalism With The Apostle’s Creed

I believe in God, the Father Almighty                                       I believe in the Loving Programmer
Creator of Heaven and Earth                                                   Who wrote and downloaded the programs that
And in Jesus Christ                                                                   brought into being everything in Heaven and Earth.
His only Son, Our Lord                                                              And, I believe in The Beloved Program, Jesus Christ, in
Who was conceived of the Holy Spirit                                      Whom all things were created.  He took human form,
Born of the Virgin Mary                                                             brought into earthly being by the Power of The Holy
Suffered under Pontius Pilate                                                   Wireless Connector.  He was born of The Virgin Mary,
Was crucified, died and was buried.                                         He suffered under Pontius Pilate, and His Human
On the third day, he rose again                                                Program was erased.  On the third day, it was
He ascended into Heaven                                                         perfectly restored.  He ascended into Programming
and is seated at the right hand                                                HQ and sits at the Right Hand of The Loving
of God, the Father Almighty.                                                     Programmer.  He will come again to judge the human
He will come again to judge                                                      programs, both those in their operating systems and

the living and the dead.                                                            those who have left them.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,                                                        I believe in The Holy Wireless Connector, The Holy
the Holy Catholic Church,                                                          Catholic Church, the ability to download The Beloved
the Communion of Saints,                                                         Program, the erasure of errors, the perfect, total
the forgiveness of sins,                                                             restoration of our human program, and that it will
the resurrection of the body,                                                    operate forever.
and life everlasting.                                                                  So be it.
Amen.

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