Wanna be an Evangelical Minister? #4.

We Evangelical Ministers know that belief is more important than obedience. Our Great Commandment “The most important thing we can do is believe in Jesus and The Bible.” reflects the importance of belief.

As long as we believe in believing, we really don’t have to worry about a lot of pesky details. We know as well as anyone that there are 40,000 individual groups calling themselves “Christian”.

We also know that each Evangelical Minister is always interested in having someone climb down from some different ladders to Heaven and try ours. So, we have an “Evangelical Minister Treaty”.

We don’t say that Presbyterians and other faiths based on Calvinist ladders are wrong for believing in Predestination. Frankly, most of them don’t even know what it is. Takes forever to explain and show why such a belief in wrong. And, some of the extreme Mormons still believe in polygamy. No point in arguing specifics with them, either.

Today, some of the 40,000 schisms say “Therapeutic abortion is permissible.” Others say that gay marriage is all right. Most don’t have a problem with serial marriage and divorce.

How do we get around all these little problems? It’s easy. We don’t argue with them. We rise above what we dismiss as “petty differences”.

When different opinions arise on any subject, we nod wisely and recite “The most important thing we can do is believe in Jesus and The Bible.” That’s the lesson we reinforce in this lesson: Wanna be an Evangelical Minister? #4.

Few will notice that we have replaced God with no-God, fact with opinion, and are saying that getting along is more important than getting into Heaven. What do we do with those who are uncomfortable with solving every problem by solemnly repeating “The most important thing we can do is believe in Jesus and The Bible.”? They can be gently encouraged “Try to get along.” If that doesn’t work, they may be asked to “Try a different Church.”

Suggest that they try one whose ministerial staff has been particularly effective in poaching your own members. Say that “There’s nothing that Pastor Toby, over at The Old Time Bible Evangelical Revival Ministry of Healing likes as much as a good, intellectual discussion about the finer points of Evangelical Christianity. Maybe you should attend some of his services and see what he thinks about your concerns.”

No point in telling him that Reverend Toby can barely read and write, has a GED in photography, and was able to graduate from Schism Seminary without having read more than a small part of two New Testament Books.

They’ll both be so glad you arranged for them to meet.

Author's Notes:

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