Schism’s Marketing Plan

Schisms are crystallized vanity. “I do not want to work.” says the schism-inventor. “I want to have people give me money.” That’s easier said than done.

So, each schism inventor must develop his Schism’s Marketing Plan. There are 43,000 schisms. Each has its own Marketing Plan. All 43,000 schisms, and the two new schisms that begin every day, have three things that appear in each Schism’s Marketing Plan:

1. Each schism is anti-Catholic to the degree that Catholic teaching threatens their income.

2. Each Schism’s Marketing Plan reduces all Christian teaching to “We believe in Jesus and The Bible.” Some add entire books to The Bible. Some take Books away from The Bible. But, no matter what they are left with, every Schism’s Marketing Plan says “We believe in Jesus and The Bible.”

If it were not so dangerous (schisms make it impossible for Pro-Life people to unite politically in The Only Church Jesus Founded and stop abortion and other evils) watching ego-maniacs invent schisms would be an absolutely fascinating process.

There is a third, completely overlooked, irrationality in every schism. We can turn on any TV or radio to schismatics encouraging people to send them money and understand the third thing each of the schisms has in common.

3. Every single schismatic personality repeats this same lunacy: “It is better to teach a man to fish than to give him fish.” Amazingly, those in the schisms never tire of hearing that. When the camera pans to the audience, often comprised of office staffers who applaud, nod, and smile approvingly at each Word of Wisdom, one can tell that they are nearly overwhelmed with joy and self-righteousness when told, even for the millionth time, “It is better to teach a man to fish. . . .”

Why is this so insane? Think about it. A five year old can be “taught to fish”, simply by putting a worm on a hook and casting it into the water. Anyone old enough to operate a dip net or seine can pull in an occasional fish. That is “fishing” only to the simplest of minds, minds to confused to recognize that such fish cannot be transported more than a few miles before beginning to spoil, rot, and become inedible.

Real fishing? A good-sized fishing boat with a crew of 35 can catch three or four hundred tons of fish in a day. And, they process and freeze them for safe delivery to inland markets.

Not one schismatic, nor any who take any of them seriously, is able to recognize the utter foolishness, the total irrationality, of claiming that “teaching a man to fish” is meaningful. None can see that imparting such skills only guarantees permanent unemployment in the real world.

They are, of course, just as ridiculously wrong in their choice to reject The Only Church Jesus Founded for their own, silly schism. Such is the triumph of vanity and ego over humbly following the teachings of The Only Church Jesus Founded.

Not only does their silly “teach a man to fish” claptrap fail in this world, but it reflected in the failure of their Schism’s Marketing Plan to get them into Heaven in the next.

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