Pastor Bobisms have done the devil’s work by shattering the unity of The Only Church Jesus Founded. Many Christians are completely confused by the conflicting, contradicting claims of the chaotic, clamoring 43,000 denominations.
Where did they come from? Each of the 43,000 Pastor Bobisms was built around an ambitious Pastor Bob who created a Marketing Plan disguised as “Theology”.
Today, there are two kinds of Pastor Bobisms.
Some of the older Pastor Bob’s Marketing Plans were so successful they opened Franchised Outlets. The Franchised Pastor Bobisms are to Christianity what McDonald’s is to cheap hamburgers. Most of the old Pastor Bob Franchises are dying. Calvin’s, Wesley’s, Luther’s, and Henry VIIIs’ Franchise Outlets are being destroyed.
New, ambitious Pastor Bobs are wiping them out with big, wholly-owned, Stand Alone Schisms. Young, ambitious go-getters with good social media skills and organizing ability are stealing donors from the older Pastor Bob Franchises. They learn how in places like Schism Seminary, where ambitious, businesslike Pastor Bobs get the equivalent of “Theology MBAs”.
The new Stand Alone Schisms are the new Pastor Bobisms. They sprout up in the suburbs like mushrooms after spring rains.
Some see the horrifying results of Christendom confused by 43,000 Pastor Bobisms. Every day, 3,500 unborn babies are killed by abortionists, sacrificed on Babylon’s Altars of Convenience. Pro-life people are too divided among the Pastor Bobisms to meaningfully join together to gain the political strength to keep the little children from being killed.
Destructive societal sins run rampant. Many who want to sin are encouraged by the leftmost Pastor Bobisms with specialized Marketing Plans built around getting money from sinners. They teach that those who want to sin are saved if they “Believe in Jesus!” and give money to Pastor Bob.
Nations are invaded by those sworn to kill and destroy all who disagree with them. 43,000 schisms have left entire nations paralyzed by the mindless whine, “Can’t we all just get along?”. The insane distortion of “Love your neighbor.” into the suicidal lunacy of “It’s our Christian duty to let them kill us.” by Pastor Bobs has left Protestants without enough common sense to realize the only answer is “No!” and organize to defend their own lives and lands. Only The Catholic Church could do that, in the days before Martin Luther destroyed its political power to satisfy his employing government’s lust for power.
The conflicting, competing 43,000 schisms have metastasized into the nation-destroying Protestant Paralysis. At the heart of every problem: Both the old, Franchised Pastor Bobisms and the new, Stand Alone Pastor Bobisms tend to be led by Pastor Bobs too afraid of offending wealthy donors to say that the souls of all whose lives end with the belief “My sins don’t matter because I believed.” must spend eternity in agony.
What makes a man become part of the confusion, conflict, contradiction and death? Being a Pastor Bob is comparatively easy work that generally pays moderate salaries and benefits. Even as congregations and donations dwindle, there are still collective billions stored away in shrinking endowments, slowly drained to subsidize what cannot be continued on merit, alone.
Those who understand the bad effects of The Protestant Paralysis have a solution to the horrifyingly real problems of 43,000 conflicting Pastor Bobisms. They conclude: “Pastor Bob, get a job!”
Their reluctance and refusal to do so ensures that confusion will continue to destroy us with The Protestant Paralysis. The devil is happy about that. The immortal souls of those he devours quickly cease to share his unholy joy.
