One of Little Fred’s most brilliant teachings is very simple! “Good Marketing must have the appearance of honesty! We make money by being Protestants. We have to admit the simple truth: If it weren’t for Catholics, we wouldn’t be here!”
Those who have paid a lot of money to attend one of Little Fred’s Profiting from Protestantism Seminars are startled! Some look angry when they hear that!
Little Fred explains: “If Jesus had not said, ‘And I say unto you thou art Peter and on this rock I build My Church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. I give you the keys to The Kingdom of Heaven.’ there could not have been a Catholic Church!
“We must not argue with that fact! If you say ‘Jesus was wrong, untruthful, or unable to speak clearly’, you will only lose credibility. If you lose credibility, you will lose donations! We do not argue with Jesus! We just ignore Him when His Words are no longer relevant!
“Remember the simple truth: If there hadn’t been a Catholic Church, no Protestant would have had anything to ‘protest’ against. We need to recognize the importance of Catholics! Every person in our Protestant denomination owes their lives and birth to one simple fact: The Catholic Church kept their ancestors passing on life to them for at least a thousand years!
Avoid that fact! But, do not deny it. It’s just too easy to prove.
Most of Little Fred’s customers understand that!
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Then, Little Fred explains why some truth is so important!
“You all know that most of your donations come from the smartest and richest 5 or 10% of your members! Some of them are smart enough to know some historical facts! If you offend their sense of ‘intellectual honesty’ by denying The Historical Validity of Catholicism, they will simply stop donating! If they stop donating, you will go broke!”
“If you want to stay in business, your Protestant Marketing Plans must have credibility! We must tell some truth about The Catholic Church.”
Your less intelligent donors will believe nonsense like ‘Catholics worship idols!’ or ‘Catholics worship Mary!’ or “Catholic priests are evil.” They are not the kind of donors who will ever think well enough to make enough money to help you meet your budgets!”
“Encourage their beliefs! Compliment them when no one can hear! But, keep them in the background!”
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Then, Little Fred moves into modern times! “We Protestants need the Catholic Church today! Our 45,000 Protestant denominations do not have enough children to replace our old and dying members! We allow pills and implants that keep children in the families of our congregations and clergy from being born. The price of Protestantism is clear. We have fewer children. We have even fewer grandchildren. The only way any of our denominations can survive is to get ex-Catholics to join!
“The fact is clear: 30-40% of the people in many of our denominations are former Catholics! We need their donations!”
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Little Fred watches the faces of his clients. He can tell which ones of them are smart enough to understand the need for some truth about The Catholic Church.
Then, Little Fred lets them know how to get former Catholics to join their church. “Market Research tells us that young women are most easily led to be Protestants. This reasoning works on them:
“You are young and pretty. If you don’t get married soon, you probably won’t get married! You want to use artificial birth control. The Church tells you that’s wrong! It’s The Church Teaching that is wrong! They don’t care about your needs!”
“An amazing number of women will pay you to tell them that! Even the ones who aren’t young and pretty!”
Little Fred’s audiences always laugh heartily at that!
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Crats! is an odd novel that is free at catholicfundamentalism.com
It’s a good book because it has an exclamation point!
