At first, it seemed that one of the New York Executives would be chosen to replace Little Fred. A smooth transition was expected. Then, there was actual Panic at Global Protestant Marketing Plans Corp.!
Other people wanted to be chosen to replace Little Fred. Pastor Bob was one of them! Pastor Bob was enraged! “We don’t want Global Protestant Marketing Plans Corp. to be run by some corporate insider! We need a CEO who has worked in the ‘real world’! We need a Chief Executive Officer who’s actually run a Protestant denomination!”
People had to take Pastor Bob seriously! His Church of The Perfect Baptism was one of the most profitable Marketing Plan Denominations that Little Fred’s Global Protestant Marketing Plans Corp. had ever invented.
“We have to be careful!”, Little Fred told his top executives in the Morning Meeting. “Pastor Bob called me directly. He is furious! Pastor Bob may file lawsuits against us. He’s thinking of claiming that we are a monopoly that must be broken up ‘for the public good’.”
+
After a moment’s thought, Corporate Attorney Jerry Rig agreed. “He could make that case! According to Anti-Trust Laws, Global Protestant Marketing Plans Corp. could be viewed as a type of ‘monopoly’. After all, we have replaced The World Council of Churches as the leading producer and provider of new Protestant Marketing Plans and Denominations! They haven’t had an original thought for a century!
“We have taken over the Protestant Marketing Plan business. And, we publicly admit that we are striving for monopoly status with our very name: ‘Global Protestant Marketing Plans Corp.’! Hundreds of millions of Protestants have left other people’s Marketing Plans for ours! We could be sued for “unfair competition” by the countless denominations that we’ve replaced!
“We have sold or licensed our Protestant Marketing Plans to Independent Franchisee/Ministers in every nation North of Antarctica! United Nations and Common Market Courts could get involved!! The real problem is that some judge in some country like Zambia, wherever that is, could decide that all of our income has to be placed ‘in trust’ until the issue is resolved!
“We could be tied up in courts all over the world for decades!”
+
Sherman Skidmore ran The Finance Department. “That would be bad! There is no way to hide our internal funding disbursements from a court-appointed team of attorneys and accountants!”
A shudder of horror went around the huge boardroom table! Every Executive at Global Protestant Marketing Plans Corp. realized what could happen to them if their expenses were audited by real accountants! Four words echoed in every mind: “Jail, for intentional fraud!”
+
Harry Barry was the Global Protestant Marketing Plan Corp.‘s Creative Genius. He had turned more Protestant Marketing Plans into profitable denominations than anyone in History! He had invented every new Protestant Marketing Plan from TV Evangelism to Independent Churches to Charismatic Churches to Pentecostal Churches to Non-Denominational Churches to big, modern Mega-Churches!
He immediately realized that the huge Global Protestant Marketing Plans Corp. was at risk!
“This is beyond me! I can invent a Protestant Marketing Plan. I can get it into operation. I can sell the Franchises! But, I can’t fight The Government! Little Fred, I don’t think you can retire!”
+
Harry Barry was correct! They all knew it! Every head turned to look at Little Fred.
They all knew: “Little Fred, you can’t retire! We could lose our jobs!” Then, memories of financial fraudsters leaving courtrooms in handcuffs came into their minds. “We could end up in jail!”
+
What would Little Fred do?
. . . . . . . . . . . .
All the World is a Stage may be downloaded free on catholicfundamentalism.com
