Alarm alert! New alarms sounding!

Now that we’re in the midst of a summer with record cold temperatures, so frigid that even urban liberals are noticing, the fraud factory is concerned that their biggest alarm is losing credibility. When a huge lie begins to collapse of its own immense pile of falsehoods and contradictions, the smarter of the other side do not try to prop it up. They immediately move to new lies, ready and waiting in the wings to emerge on stage.

New alarms, or recycled old alarms, are rapidly increasing in all approved media outlets.

Obesity is now a leading false alarm that’s being brought forth with renewed energy. Few people know that those who are overweight actually live longer than those of “ideal” weights. Those happy hefties who aren’t “morbidly obese” a weight level that seems to kick in at about three hundred pounds, also recover more quickly from illnesses and operations. That fundamental truth won’t be mentioned as the fraud factory strains to turn what’s good for people into something “Bad! Unhealthful!”

Another alarm rapidly replacing the Global Warming lies is the perpetually popular “Plastic pollution of the Pacific” panic. A Texas-sized area of the Pacific Ocean is breathlessly said to be “so covered with plastic discards that fish and seabirds are being wiped out”. Most of these alarms are accompanied by solemn announcements that include “the necessity to raise taxes on plastic bags”. Curiously, high definition satellite photographs of this vast, dying wasteland, not far from Lemuria, the Pacific Atlantis, are unavailable.

Plastic bags, numbering in the billions, are easily taxed at checkout counters where people are lined up with money in their pockets, money that nanny tells us is “needed to study and solve the problem of plastic pollution in the Pacific Ocean”. Big lies come from small, shrivelled souls.

Author's Notes:

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