Many of The Profiteers of Protestantism are showing anger at The Real Church of Jesus/God INTERGALACTICO!
Pastor Bob was enraged! “This new denomination has reduced the value of my franchises by 50%! I have spent a lifetime building up my own Church of The Perfect Baptism! I have patents on my Baptismal Crane! I have copyrights on my Baptismal Fonts that duplicate a section of The River Jordan!
“Prospective buyers are turning to The Real Church of Jesus/God INTERGALACTICO! My bank called. ‘Pastor Bob, your financial statements do not meet our requirements. If you don’t get your Franchise Sales up, Banking Regulators will require us to call in your loans.’
“We need to have laws against any new Protestant denominations!”
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Reverend Knowal Blowhardt invented the Six Day Plus One or Two Adventisters. He showed incredible anger at The Real Church of Jesus/God INTERGALACTICO!
“We are the only denomination that truly follows The Bible! It is bad enough that there are already 45,000 Protestant denominations. They all keep people from understanding that no one should go to any church before, during, or after any month with ‘two new moons’!
“I have actually had franchisees ask me to buy their Franchises back so they could buy the rights to open new profit centers for The Real Church of Jesus/God INTERGALACTICO! It’s not right!”
“I called my Congressman! We need to stop these profiteers!”
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Pastor Gabby Gaberdine was quick to express his anger at The Real Church of Jesus/God INTERGALACTICO!
“It has taken me decades to get my denomination, The Jehovah’s Wetness, established! We are the only church that understands that a person must be baptized 2,300 times to be in tune with The Prophets!
“This new denomination is based on a lie! Intergalactic believers are not going to fly their UFOs to earth and hand out ‘rubies as big as eggs’ to people just because they’re in The Real Church of Jesus/God INTERGALACTICO!
“The government has to keep any new Profiteers of Protestantism from taking our donors away!”
A conference has been convened!
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No Catholics are invited.
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