Catholic Fundamentalists often begin their pilgrimage by picturing God the Father as The Programmer. We believe that He has the power to program in many dimensions, so we think He can program any sort of matter that He wants and make it behave any way He wants.
We also believe that He is able to program Sub-Programmers, which earlier Christians called “angels”. The nine orders of Sub-Programmers compiled the basic elements into whatever shapes were necessary for The Programmer to have His will be done.
He needed a stage setting on which actors with free will could freely choose what they wanted to do. So, the Subs programmed an iron core, wrapped it with various minerals, and set it spinning around a huge version of a breeder reactor to light and heat the stage.
He also programmed millions of replicating forms, plants and animals, to make things more interesting.
One of the Sub-Programmers had an ego problem. He wanted to run things, so he set up his own operation, in which he programmed viruses to corrupt the free will programs in that section of The Program called the Garden of Eden.
The nice thing about Catholic Fundamentalism is that it agrees with Scripture, it agrees with every teaching of the Catholic Church, and it simplifies one’s mind.
Catholic Fundamentalism allows us to sweep our minds so free of clutter and corruption that we can truly become as little children.
Oh, the joy.
