Those people responsible for inventing, making, and ordering the installation of the “Happiness-Eradication Devices” must not be allowed to be happy about what they are doing. And, to prove their trustworthiness for such important positions, they must be the first to have the “Happiness-Eradication Devices” implanted in their own bodies.
Then, their credibility will be clear for all to see. At that point, the rest of the population may be implanted.
Obviously, there will be many, many news stories about people’s “Happiness-Eradication Devices ” exploding when they’re happier than they should be. If any involved in the “Happiness-Eradication Device” business find themselves a tad too happy when someone they don’t like is blown up, then their own device will be triggered. We will quickly learn not to be happy about the misfortunes of others, and the world will be a better, more somber and sober place.
“Happiness-Eradication Devices will bring about great improvements in group behavior. When the suicide bombers crashed the airplanes into the Twin Towers, people all over the third world were out in the streets, dancing for joy. If they’d had “Happiness-Eradication Device” implants, they’d have all been killed by their own joy. So, universal care must be taken.
Still, an occasional tsunami of death is a small price to pay for the deadly serious business of complete and utter seriousness. When we consider the Ayatollah quote above: “There can be no fun and joy in whatever is serious.” we see the great moral imperative behind the implantation of “Happiness-Eradication Devices ” in every human being on earth.
We need to get started!
