It is widely known that terrorists who blow up airplanes are Moslems. It’s odd that there are no known Christians, Buddhists, Hindus, Jews, or other religious groups who make it even an occasional practice to blow up airplanes full of people.
All blowers up of airplanes are Moslems. How to stop them? They believe that pigs are unclean. It is suggested that, instead of having intrusive, expensive security forces in our airports, bacon be provided. Those who don’t eat don’t fly.
But, it wouldn’t be fair to keep Orthodox Jews from boarding planes. They are not allowed to eat bacon, but they can be near swine products. Moslems can’t. So, entrances to airports should be covered with large swathes of pigskin carpets.
Any Moslem so anxious to kill some infidels as to walk across the vast pigskin rugs would have to go through the TSA’s security forces, beginning with bomb-sniffing dogs poking their noses into passengers’ clothing. Human inspectors should be wearing gloves made, as those of English aristocrats once were, of dog skin. Having them push through curtains made of the same material would provide an additional barrier.
Common-sense methods keep us from wasting more money on expensive security. No one in the TSA in interested in such foolproof ways to protect us, since it might result in fewer jobs for the TSA, so we all have to be inconvenienced. And, even if we were to suggest that such measures be taken, Moslem bribes to legislators would quickly prompt them make it illegal for such measures to be used; not because they wouldn’t work, but because they would.
