Leftist Leaders Want Fatwas

Leftist Leaders Want Fatwas. Leftist leaders are very upset. “It’s not fair! Moslems get to tell low-level people in their countries what to do and they have to do it. Their leaders just issue fatwas and have them obeyed. We leftist leaders, who are much more enlightened than any Moslem, need to be able to issue fatwas, too. We should be able to make our underlings listen and obey our commands, just like their Moslem underlings do.”

Puzzled, a working person might ask, “Why?”

The leftist response: “Why? Well, for your own good, you mindless clod. Too may of you people just won’t do what we tell you. We say you should get rid of your old light bulbs and use new ones, and you ignore us. We tell you to stop using so much toilet paper, and you keep using as much as you think you need. You just aren’t obeying us.”

Working Person: “So, if you had fatwas, you could make us do everything you wanted?”

Leftist Know-It-All: “That’s right. For instance, if we caught any of you, say, using too much toilet paper, we could cut off your hand.”

WP: “Isn’t that a little extreme?”

LKITA: “Not if It’s for your own good. If each of you field beasts use two or three extra squares of toilet paper, one or two times a day, so many trees would be cut down that global warming would kill us all.”

WP: “But, trees actually emit carbon dioxide, which you said is a major cause of global warming. Fewer trees mean less carbon dioxide, which means less global warming.”

LKITA: “We also need a fatwa ordering that anyone who won’t believe and obey us without quibbling or throwing facts in our face can be executed.”