Little Fred answers two hard questions.
Worried minister: “Little Fred, our church purchased the rights to one of your Marketing Plan Upgrades. Our denomination was still based on a Marketing Plan almost a hundred years old! It was out of date!”
Little Fred: “I hope it worked out for you!”
Worried Minister: “Well, The Marketing Plan we bought from you had a problem! Some bright kid in our Sunday School downloaded it from our Church Computer! Now, we have donors asking: ‘Who is this ‘Little Fred’? Are you running a Protestant church or a business?'”
Little Fred: “You signed a contract guaranteeing security! If this security breach hurts your congregation, it’s your fault. If word of this gets out to any of our other Marketing Plan denominations, you will be held liable!”
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When that had been answered, another minister asked:
“Little Fred, we love The Marketing Plan we bought from you! We have more donations than ever! We’re expanding our buildings! But, we don’t know how to answer this recurring question.
A few people are telling us: ‘Pastor, you are telling us to disobey Jesus’ Church-Founding Word: ‘And I say unto you thou art Peter and on this rock I build My Church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. I give you the keys to The Kingdom of Heaven.’
Then, they ask ‘We will stand before Jesus at Judgment. How can we be among ‘You are My friends if you obey My commands.’ if we follow you and disobey Jesus? We don’t want to burn in hell!’ What do we tell them?”
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Little Fred replied: “That is the hardest question in all of Protestantism! To tell you the truth, there is no good answer to that! God did throw the disobedient angels out of Heaven. God is consistent! It’s hard to imagine how He would let the soul of a disobedient human into Heaven!”
The minister was stunned. “That is true, of course, but what do we tell our donors?”
Little Fred had a ready answer. “We get asked that all the time! You just tell them, ‘Listen, if you want to follow Jesus. then you go and be in The Only Church He Founded! If you want to stay here with your friends, shut up and stop arguing with me!'”
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There were no more questions before the break.
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My Yoke is Easy and My Burden is Light is free on catholicfundamentalism.com
