As you may know, triage is used by good doctors want to avoid treating someone who’s sure to die quickly and help a person who, with immediate help, can recover. Triage puts an order as to when people are treated. (On The Lie Committee section of this site, The Medical Lies Committee wants to redefine “triage” to “maximizing the harvest transplantable and salable organs.)

There is triage in Heaven. God is besieged by billions of prayers, every day. They range from the ever-popular “Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes-Benz?” to “Please, help me find a job.”

When Protestants pray, they try to get through to God; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Catholics also ask the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit for help. Additionally, we ask Mary, Joseph, St. Anthony, and thousands of other Saints who have close connections to God to intercede for us.

When two prayers are received with equal urgency and importance, Mary’s requests are heard first. Then, St. Joseph’s. Then, the other Saints’.

Protestant requests go to celestial in-boxes. Many are answered, but God alone knows how He sorts them out.

Catholic prayers generally get through faster, if only because Catholics tend to send their prayers through specialists. It takes, for instance, some doing to get the Heavenly forces together to have a child conceived, and Catholics have Saints who specialize in that. It’s hard to find something that’s lost, but St. Anthony knows just how to make that intercession when asked.

All Catholics, and non-Catholics who know how odds work, should send a little money every year to some holy organization named after a Saint whom they’re likely to need. Think of it as high-level insurance.

Protestants and Jews should learn a few of the basic saints in order to have their prayers answered more quickly. After it happens a few times, they become friendlier to The Church that canonized the Holy Saint who helped them.

Author's Notes:

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