We have learned a lot from 500 years of Protestantism. The most important lesson: The newest Protestant denomination is the best Protestant denomination!
We’ve seen tens of thousands of them come and go. It’s always the same! Some clever man identifies a Target Market.
Calvinists provide a perfect example! “There are lots of rich people America’s towns and cities. Some of them feel guilty about being rich. We will tell them they are among ‘the elect’! They will give us money if we ‘prove’ to them that they are ‘especially blessed and loved by God’. Millions will pay billions to hear that!”
Every town in America was quickly provided with Presbyterian and Congregational buildings! The validity of their Marketing Plan was proven!
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Today, a new Protestant denomination has been announced!
The Real Church of Jesus/God INTERGALACTICO!
The clergy of the old, boring Marketing Plan denominations are enraged! “Why didn’t our marketing people think of that? Everybody is tired of our old, ‘earthbound’ denominations! We are missing out on really big money!”
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The newly franchised clergy in The Real Church of Jesus/God INTERGALACTICO! tell donors they are getting a bargain! “You only have to give money to The Real Church of Jesus/God INTERGALACTICO! for a few years. Once we are proven to be established, donations to us from other planets and galaxies will be dropped off by their UFOs!”
Their advertisements have pictures! Bags full of emeralds! Rubies as big as eggs!
How could anyone resist that?
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Even a few Catholics are leaving The Only Church Jesus Founded. They want to get a ruby as big as an egg every week!
Some choose to ignore Jesus’ Church-Founding Word: “And I say unto you thou art Peter and on this rock I build My Church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. I give you the keys to The Kingdom of Heaven.”
Their parting words to Catholics who remain faithfully obedient? “The ‘rock‘ I want is one of those big rubies every week!”
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There is solid proof this new denomination is the best of all 45,000 Protestant denominations! The Real Church of Jesus/God INTERGALACTICO! has an “O” on the end for wide appeal to people who speak French, Portuguese, and Spanish. And, it has an exclamation point!
That exclamation point ! proves it is the best of all 45,000 Protestant Denominations!
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Their print and TV advertisements mention that “Franchises are available!”
Another exclamation point!
What more proof could anyone need?
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