I’m gonna let you in on a little secret in Wanna be an Evangelical Minister? #3. One of the biggest groups of people who’ll join your schism are lapsed Catholics! We’ll start with the identifiable groups of lapsed Catholics.
Some are so self-important they’ve left The Church. “I don’t need a lot of religious mumbo-jumbo to get to Heaven.” What’s your response, Reverend Wannabe an Evangelical Minister? Vain, self-important people need to be continually reinforced. You nod sincerely and say, “A person like you doesn’t need a lot of religious mumbo-jumbo to get to Heaven. You are smart enough to get there the way you think is best!”
Presto, you have a new donor sitting in the pews. Tell him how smart he is once or twice a month and he’ll contribute for years! And, he’ll tell people how smart and good you are. “That Pastor Bob is a great help, when you need it.”
Then, there are the lonely. Give them lots of mindless activity. Prayer groups are an inexpensive way to start. Have them write down what’s missing in their lives and take turns praying about it. They’ll think you care about them! This is an ideal job for an ambitious youth pastor who wants to get ahead. The lonely must be continually reminded, “In your old Church, there was so much focus on ceremonial activity there wasn’t time for you!”
And, there are those living in sin. “I shouldn’t have to get an annulment! Who does The Catholic Church think they are, telling me that I can’t divorce and remarry someone I really love? I have rights! I can make up my own mind! Besides, they want $600.00 for some Canon Lawyer to examine my marriage, my state of mind, and my ex’s state of mind. I don’t have time for that, Pastor Bob.”
You do what you do best, and nod wisely. Then, make your well-rehearsed, sincere comments about “It’s too bad the Catholic Church doesn’t care about you as a person.” Actually, you can tell that to everyone! Just do it sincerely.
That’s today’s lesson. Focusing on lapsed Catholics is a sure-fire way to build a congregation. After awhile, you’ll get to know these people better. And, you’ll find that some of them will leave your church for the next new schism down the road. Don’t be bitter. Don’t let yourself think that your Family Victory Evangelical Bible Church is a way station for self-centered losers who can’t cut the mustard in what some people still think is The Church Jesus Founded.
Obey the Great Schismatic Commandment. “The most important thing we can do is believe in Jesus and The Bible.” All 40,000 Christian schisms must do that.
