45,000 denominations plead: “Buy me!”


Every manufacturer tries to replace old products with new. “These new colors, designs, and materials are better than ever!” Every advertisement, display, and package screams “Buy me!”

Health & Beauty products insist, “Buy me! You will be beautiful and healthy!” Other advertisements promise status, safety, comfort and bargain prices as advertising dollars cry “Buy me!”

We go through life as continual cries to “Buy me!” echo in our ears.

Similar product improvements are claimed in religion. At last count, 45,000 denominations plead: “Buy me!”

New religious products are continually invented by every ambitious Protestant man with a Marketing Plan. Some insist “To be saved, you must be baptized the way Jesus was: you must be fully immersed and at least __ years old, to truly follow Jesus.”

Other innovators insist: “Jesus was baptized by being fully immersed in The River Jordan while facing upstream! We are renting a giant jet to take true believers to The Holy Land so they may be baptized properly and get into Heaven! For only $4,999.00, you may accompany Pastor Bob to The Holy Land and be saved! Make your reservation, now! This exclusive offer expires next week!”

Each detail of every Marketing Plan Denomination is carefully calculated and considered as its inventor explores the heart of Protestantism: Justification by Differentiation. Some claim, “You must have our imitation of Catholic Communion with grape juice AND pieces of whole-wheat bread. Nothing else counts!” Franchise outlets insist: “You can’t get to Heaven unless you do it our way!”

45,000 Brands of Pastor Bobisms recognize, and avoid, one fact: Jesus said one time, to one man “Thou art Peter and on this rock I build My Church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. I give you the keys to The Kingdom of Heaven.”

45,000 Brands of Protestantism reply: “That was then. This is now! Buy me!”