Bath Salts Have to be Kept From Interfering With Established Cash Flows

Those who make political contributions get fast attention to their problems from media and elected officials. In the past few days, information about “deadly bath salts” has been on the news. In just a few days, bath salts have become the subject of legislative alerts.

“We have to ban bath salts immediately!” announced Pennsylvania Senator Robert Casey. Widely believed to be one of the least intelligent U.S. Senators, thought to be operating at the Patty Murray level, it was surprising that Mr. Casey even knew what bath salts were, much less that they’d been made into a major problem of the day.

Bath salts have turned into a huge problem for drug dealers. Easily obtainable bath salts are a cheap source of the same chemicals that provide generous profit margins for those in the drug distribution business. “We can’t have our junkies gettin’ high for free!”, the dealers agreed. “It’s bad for business!” So, their highly paid contacts with media and officialdom were quickly used to identify and eliminate this new source of practically free drugs.

“We didn’t know what happened to our cash flows.”, one dealer explained. “When we found that the addicts were using cheap bath salts to get high, we had to do something!”

Dealers are glad to know that Senator Casey is working hard to get those cash flows diverted back into the proper channel. “The drugs in bath salts simply are not safe.”, he let people know. Many were grateful to him for his concern. Those with a deeper understanding of what was happening rolled their eyes.

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