Little Fred invents Marketing Plans for New Protestant Denominations. And, he invents “Upgrades” for old, boring denominations. Little Fred and his staff provide ongoing support. Little Fred answers hard questions like these from Protestant Clients.
1. “Little Fred, what should I say when donors ask: ‘Should I be in The Only Church Jesus Founded, or stay here?'”
Little Fred: Ignore that question! Pay attention to the Questioner! First of all, is he or she a Big Donor? If they are not a Big Donor, you can afford to be blunt: “Why don’t you look into The Catholic Church and find out?”
73% of them will not bother. Half of the ones that do look into it find out they actually have to do something! They have to take 6 or 8 months of RCIA classes! It’s a lot harder to get into The Catholic Church than into our churches!
Frankly, if they take Jesus that seriously, we’re better off without them!
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2. “Little Fred, what if a Big Donor asks about being Catholic?
Little Fred: That’s serious! Big Donors talk to each other! It’s bad enough to lose one or two. If a bunch of Big Donors leave, you could be forced to merge or close!
Don’t argue facts with them! I wish Jesus had never said “And I say unto you thou art Peter and on this rock I build My Church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. I give you the keys to The Kingdom of Heaven.”
But, Jesus did say that! We’re stuck with it! If you argue the facts, you lose! So, ‘Focus on Feelings’! “We would feel terrible if you left! We feel that you are an important part of our fellowship! We feel that your advice and counsel is vital!”
That works 12% of the time.
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3. “Little Fred, what if a Big Donor still wants to be Catholic?”
Little Fred: Remind them of the facts! Catholics still think Marriage is a life-long commitment! A Big Donor or spouse may have been divorced and remarried. They might have to get an Annulment before they could be Catholic! Annulments can be complicated and take a long time! Just the ‘threat’ of that keeps 14% of people from becoming Catholic!
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Protestants are always glad to get answers to hard questions from Little Fred.
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All the World is a Stage is one of many free downloads on catholicfundamentalism.com
