Little Fred answers the second-hardest question. Little Fred is over 90! He has been in every Protestant movement since Protestant Evangelists moved from tent preaching to Radio Evangelism.
Little Fred is the son of the famed Tent Evangelist, Big Fred. He got his aging father involved in Radio Ministry, back in the 1940s. When Little Fred saw television for the first time, he invented the first formats for TV Evangelism.
He also invented many popular Protestant Marketing Plans. Little Fred’s Marketing Plans helped his clients make a lot of money by taking donors away from the old, boring “Mainline Denominations”.
Little Fred was at the forefront of inventing “Independent Churches”. They soon grew boring! So, Little Fred invented Marketing Plans for popular “Pentecostal Churches”. Then, he invented Marketing Plans for “Charismatic Churches”! When those grew stale, He created Marketing Plans for “Non-Denominational Churches”. His later efforts created Marketing Plans for “Mega-Churches”!
At the same time, Little Fred’s creative genius invented many of the “Modernizing Updates” that took “unfulfilled donors” away from all existing Protestant Churches, even the ones he had invented! The money rolled in!
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At a recent gathering of those profiting from his Marketing Plans, one of his clients asked a hard question:
“Little Fred, a few donors have asked me: ‘You are encouraging us donors to disobey Jesus’ Church-Founding Decree, ‘And I say unto you thou art Peter and on this rock I build My Church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. I give you the keys to The Kingdom of Heaven.’
Some donors want to know: ‘If we disobey Jesus, how may we logically think we can stand before Jesus at Judgment among ‘You are My friends if you obey My commands’?
“One donor even asked me: ‘Do you want us to go to hell?’
“What do we tell them, Little Fred?”
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Little Fred replied: “About 6% of our donors are smart enough to think that logically! They are right! We do convince donors to disobey Jesus! We make a living by getting donors to disobey Jesus! If they respected Jesus enough to be in The Only Church He Founded, they wouldn’t give money to us! It’s their choice! They can either obey Jesus, or follow us! Just tell ’em that! It’s the simple truth! Next question?”
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None of the hundreds of people had time to ask an even harder question: “Little Fred, if we intentionally lead people to disobey Jesus, aren’t we going to spend eternity among ‘If you lead a little one of Mine astray it would be better for you to have a millstone tied around your neck and be thrown into the sea.’?”
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The meeting ended in time for dinner!
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All the World is a Stage may be downloaded at no charge on catholicfundamentalism.com
