Camels & clever Catholics

Catholic Fundamentalism took a great leap when it realized that a camel actually could go through the eye of a needle. Suddenly, that bizarre statement of Jesus went from mere symbolism to a statement of fact.

A quick looks at Mt 19:23-30 shows three literal truths understandable to the Catholic Fundamentalists of our time:
Jesus said to his disciples: “Amen, I say to you, it will be hard for one who is rich to enter the Kingdom of heaven. Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for one who is rich to enter the Kingdom of God.”
All of us with dwellings, vehicles, electric appliances, and furnaces are “rich”, comparative “millionaires” to the rest of the world. Unless camels can go through needles’ eyes, most Americans can’t go to Heaven.

How does Catholic Fundamentalism show this seeming impossibility to be very reasonable? “Remove the egg from an ovulating camel. On a microscope slide, in a drop of amniotic fluid, the egg is fertilized with sperm from a male camel. The fertilized egg is observed through the microscope and it is passed through the needle’s eye. The fertilized egg passes through the needle’s eye like a baseball through a basketball hoop. The egg is reinserted into the womb of the mother camel. When it is born, it will be a camel that has gone through the eye of a needle. So, wealthy people can get into Heaven.”

Difficult, but not impossible.

When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and said, “Who then can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said, “For men this is impossible, but for God all things are possible.”
God made this possible for us, in our time, to see the wonder of a bizarre Scripture passage becoming possible before them and be saved.

“Then Peter said to him in reply, ‘We have given up everything and followed you. What will there be for us?’  Jesus said to them, ‘Amen, I say to you that you who have followed me, in the new age, when the Son of Man is seated on his throne of glory, will yourselves sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.'”

The second literal truth is that everyone who “follows” Jesus has a chance of getting into Heaven. Israel was divided into 12 Tribes. That division, from God, reflects a reality of which other systems were aware. The Zodiac describes twelve personality types. Chesterton wrote of twelve types of people. Do all of us fit, either by genotype or phenotype into one of 12 major types? One genetic connection between us and our ancestors was provided by the 12 Tribes as they moved around the earth. Since St. Thomas went to India, and St. James to Spain, we know that our ancestors were scattered at least that far.

On what are all 12 types of people judged by the Disciple who will judge each tribe?  “And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands for the sake of my name will receive a hundred times more, and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last will be first.”

What is the third literal truth in this passage? We live now, today, in this last age. We, the last, are also the first to understand the literal truths that camels can go through needles’ eyes and that we will be judged by chiefs of our Tribe/phenotype who were appointed by Jesus.

We tithe generously so we may benefit from the “hundred times” return on our investment. Clever Catholics see a camel going through the eye of a needle and grow in belief.  Camels & clever Catholics.  We find Catholic Fundamentalism: a new road to Rome.