Intellectuals insist: “The universe is an accident. It began 20 billion years ago. We evolved from monkeys and lower life forms.” Catholics know God is smarter than people.
Catholics realize: “Humans program with computer graphics. They use pixels to make movies look real. God programmed the universe out of -D pixels. He compiled the building blocks of particles into sub-programs. His Very Special Effects sent galaxies spin-wheeling through distant space and schools of minnows swimming in ponds.”
“No! No!” the intellectuals explain. “God can’t be that smart!”
Catholics reply: “Every noun in every language describes one of God’s sub-Programs. They all work perfectly together to form every blooming flower and chirping bird. The Creation Program is so perfectly written that we can’t even prove He wrote and downloaded it!”
“No! No! God can’t be that smart! There has to be evolution!”
Catholics explain: “No, He put us here to separate sheep from goats.”
“No! No! God can’t be that smart! We are only accidents evolving inside of larger accidents!”
Catholics patiently describe that God made Himself Programming Assistants. “They were called ‘angels’ in The Iron Age. They followed His Program and downloaded the universe. He did it to give us free will. You’re just mad because we believe God is smarter than you are.”
“Fossils and layers of rock prove the universe is billions of years old!”
“Making things people could choose to think are ‘billions of years old’ was part of The Creation Program. Fossils and rock layers were produced by volcanoes, earthquakes, and the huge Tidal Wave that rolled trillions of tons of water all around the earth during The Flood, laying down and compressing rock with each passing.”
“No! No! God can’t be that smart! There is no God!”
Catholics explain: “The only truth we can know is that God gave His prophets hundreds of predictions about Jesus. They came true. He Who Fulfilled The Prophecies said: ‘Verily, verily I say unto you thou art Peter and on this rock I build My Church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. I give you the keys to The Kingdom of Heaven.’ Obeying Jesus and The Only Church He Founded separates the souls of His humble, obedient sheep from vain, self-centered goats. It’s best to be Catholic, Mr. Intellectual!”
