Half a century ago, scientists were instrumental in getting people to the moon and back. They cured polio. People respected science and scientists.
Today, after people calling themselves “scientists” have deluged us with every scare from the Ozone Hole to dioxin, fewer people respect them or related institutions. It’s a tragedy.
Today, the most visible “scientists” are trotted out to go on and on about Global Freezing/Warming and “all the serious problems that may start to occur very soon.” Every day that cold weather appears, or that low-lying Florida is not submerged by melting ice caps, all science loses more respect.
Consider this recent headline in a science magazine, or “journal”:
Scientists Confirm Higgs Boson Discovery
Those involved call it the “God Particle”. It appears they have decided, “We are equal to God because we have found the building block out of which He built everything.” $13,500,000,000 was spent trying to find the Higgs Boson/God particle.
Huge expenditures were made. Lots of people were kept busy. All involved made out very well. “We are getting somewhere.”, said those participating. Will this huge expenditure have any affect on our lives?
Nuclear power was developed after spending very large sums of money. The use of large nuclear reactors reduced the cost of making electricity to practically nothing. We have not built a new reactor for about three decades. Those in charge of such decisions simply do not want citizens to have inexpensive electricity.
For all the good the Higgs Boson will do, we’d have been better if all those really smart scientists had quit fooling around and done something useful. We’d all be better off to see this headline and article:
Scientists Confirm Hoggs Bison Discovery.
“In search of new sources of food for a starving planet, scientific agronomists have finally succeeded in crossing a Berkshire Hogg with a hippopotamus. The new animals grow very quickly. They add two pounds of meat for every pound of food they eat. How is that possible? ‘We have discovered a new and very complicated process of reverse oxidation in which this new breed of food-producing animal turns everything it eats, drinks, and inhales into food.’ the scientists report. When asked for further information on this miraculous process, this reporter was told: ‘The details must remain confidential.’
What we were allowed to discover was amazing! Each Hoggs Bison will reach the size of a buffalo in less than a month. That, scientists explain, is why the name, ‘Hoggs Bison’, was chosen. ‘Truly, it is fitting.’ all agreed.
These new animals, providing ‘sustainable meat for a sustainable world’ convert every type of waste, including some kinds of plastic, into meat. Tests prove that almost every cut of meat from the Hoggs Bison is indistinguishable from the finest filet or Porterhouse. What does a T-bone steak from a Hoggs Bison cost? Less than fifty cents a pound!
More amazingly, the Hoggs Bison does not have to be butchered. The steaks grow out the back, and are as easily and painlessly removed from the Hoggs Bison as a piece of celery is pulled from its stalk. A family of five, with just one Hoggs Bison in the spare room, can pull off and eat all the steaks one Hoggs Bison will produce in a day.
Since these wonderful, new animals convert virtually everything they eat, drink, and inhale into meat, the Hoggs Bison has no waste, aside from daily cup of urine. That is absorbed in a convenient Hoggs Bison diaper. They do need to be changed every week or so. And, one breathless scientist reported, ‘With a little training, the Hoggs Bison can be housebroken.’
In many households, Hoggs Bisons have become beloved family pets. By inserting genes from a Rottweiler, an improved model of the Hoggs Bison will act as a watchdog.
This reporter was asked which my family would rather have, a Higgs Boson or a Hoggs Bison? I think we’d all prefer the latter. If all those scientists would stop wasting their time on stupid things like Higgs Bosons and get busy doing something useful, we could each have a Hoggs Bison by next Christmas.
At our house, the spare room is ready. We’re going to call our Hoggs Bison ‘Pigalo’ and teach it to play the piccolo.”
Higgs Boson. Hoggs Bison. Does it make a difference? Better to worry about getting into Heaven.
