Letter # 4 from a Protestant minister:

A few Protestants still believe the old lie, “The Catholic Church is the ‘Whore of Babylon’.”  They seriously believe themselves to be saying something intelligent by breathlessly announcing, “It says so, in the Book of Revelation!”

Facts show that belief to be lunacy.  Revelation 17, 1-8  describes the vile creature, and tell us that she is “drunk on the blood of the saints and on the blood of the martyrs of Jesus.”  It is impossible to rationally believe that the “martyrs of Jesus”, like St. Peter and St. Paul, were crucified by  the very Church they began.  So, what’s really going on?  Our dear friend, Pastor Pitstop, offers some insights:

Dear Catholic Fundamentalism:

Thank you so much for the check.  You had asked for a very brief letter explaining why Protestants believe The Catholic Church is the “Whore of Babylon”.  The Bible says The Whore of Babylon was wearing “purple and scarlet robes”.  The priests, bishops, and the Pope of The Catholic Church all wear robes.  That’s a clue!  Some of their robes are black, some are white, but the Cardinals’ robes are bright red.  Sometimes, they wear purple robes.  Red robes!  Purple robes!  That proves The Catholic Church is the Whore of Babylon! 

 I know that’s not true. All intelligent Protestants know that Catholic priests and bishops sometimes wear purple robes during Lent as a sign of suffering and penance.  More importantly, we all know that the “Whore of Babylon” loves abortion.  The Catholic Church hates abortion.  Very few Protestants are dumb enough to seriously believe that the world’s oldest and largest Pro-Life Christian group is the world’s greatest evil.

Why don’t we Protestants condemn such lies?  Life is hard for us Protestant ministers.  Our congregations are shrinking.  Whole churches are disappearing.  Our young, enthusiastic people leave for the fun and frolic of huge, exciting places, like Minister McMacMack’s Mighty Mountain Mega-Church.  On the other side of the coin, many of the most sincere, intelligent, thoughtful, and knowledgeable Protestants become Catholic.

Our jobs are disappearing!  What are we to do?  We have bills to pay.  We don’t believe that “The Catholic Church is the Whore of Babylon”.  But, we don’t mind if a few people in our congregations do.  We have to eat.  And, insulting The Catholic Church has been part of our tradition since our founder left the priesthood to get married.  Or, re-married.  I’ve forgotten which.

And, it’s nice to not hear people saying that we Protestants are the Whore of Babylon.  Well, maybe the occasional Unitarian.

So, that’s why we say “Catholics are truly Christians.” out of one side of our mouths while we’re always happy to see the most vicious, vile, name-calling pamphlets, articles, and lies that tell people not to be Catholic.  Lots of them!

Your ecumenical friend, sometimes

Pastor Travis Pitstop