Oh, Goody! A Scientific Breakthrough! Even Better, A New Imaginary Problem!

“NASA-funded researchers are monitoring a big event in our planet’s atmosphere. High above Earth’s surface where the atmosphere meets space, a rarefied layer of gas called “the thermosphere” recently collapsed and now is rebounding again.


‘This is the biggest contraction of the thermosphere in at least 43 years,’ says John Emmert of the Naval Research Lab.”

Think of it: “This is the biggest contraction of the thermosphere in at least 43 years, . . . ” How often does something that can be made to seem as if it’s a really big problem come along? In forty three years, this is the biggest contraction of the thermosphere. Think of it. The biggest contraction of the thermosphere in 43 years. 43.

This sort of thing doesn’t happen every day. At this very moment, skilled fraud-finders at countless government agencies are deciding what possible causes of this effect may be. It could be ozone. On the other hand, it could be bovine flatulence. Some are suggesting that it’s salt water, thrown high into the atmosphere by airplanes, boats, and other man-made causes.

Whatever the final cause of the thermosphere collapse is determined to be, and it will be decided soon by committees representing governments desperate for excuses to tax and regulate, many of us will nod wisely and say, “I thought that’s what it was, all along.” Others may repeat:
“Right above our earthly sphere
Is the lofty Troposphere.
It’s topped by the Stratosphere,
Right below the Mesosphere.
Above them all, the Thermosphere.
And, that’s collapsing. So, we fear
That when all the facts are clear
We will lose all we hold dear
From the falling Thermosphere.
It will squeeze the Mesophere
Flatten out the Stratosphere
Pancaking the Troposphere
Crushing all of us down here
Helpless on our earthly sphere.”

Author's Notes:

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