At Bible Study, someone suddenly blurted out “Pastor Bob, are you crazy?”
What caused that very rude question to be asked?
That Bible Study included Chapter 5, Verses 19-25 in St. Paul’s letter to The Galatians. “When self-indulgence is at work the results are obvious: fornication, gross indecency and sexual irresponsibility; disagreements, factions, envy, drunkenness, orgies and similar things. I warn you now, as I warned you before, those who behave like this will not inherit The Kingdom of God.”
Usually, our Bible Studies are pretty tame. This time, someone asked, “Pastor Bob, there are people in this congregation who are living together and aren’t married. Isn’t that ‘fornication’? If it is, why aren’t you telling them to stop and repent or they can’t go to Heaven?”
The questioner was Margie Brown. She was the married daughter of a woman who’d moved in with the recently divorced, and the richest, man in town. Margie’s mother was believed to attend services only to flaunt the glittering manifestations of her new-found wealth.
Pastor Bob was on the spot! He was too rattled to remember the approved Schism Seminary response: “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” Schism Seminary Marketing Experts had studied consumer responses to moral problems. “Judge not lest ye be judged.” was the reply their Focus Groups found most effective to questions about sin committed by big tithers in every congregation.
Pastor Bob stuttered. He stammered. He finally said, “W-w-who am I to judge?” He’d gotten it wrong! He’d deviated from the Marketing Plan Instructions! He should have said “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” His mistake opened the door for young Margie’s blistering response:
“You are the one to judge! You are our minister! You are our pastor! You are supposed to be the shepherd of this flock! Why didn’t you tell my mother to stop living in sin?”
Pastor Bob hemmed and hawed. He bobbed and weaved. He frowned and smiled. Words came out, but they made little sense.
Finally, Margie cut to the chase. “If my mother dies in sin and goes to hell forever it’s your fault for not warning her that The Bible said she’d burn in hell, forever!”
Pastor Bob suddenly stiffened. “I’m not taking any blame for what anyone feels it’s all right for them to do. It’s not my fault. It’s her fault!” he said, pointing his finger at little Margie Brown.
Margie didn’t back down. “It’s your fault! We pay you to keep us out of trouble and out of hell. You are blaming her for going to hell because you can’t do your job!” Margie was so mad she could spit. That’s when she said “Pastor Bob, are you crazy?”
It was the best slam-bang Bible Study our church ever had! Margie’s mother heard about it! She took her, her rich boyfriend, and his money, and left. Those two, and their big donations, are now over at Family Victory Mighty Mountain Mega Church.
Margie left, too.
“I’m outta here, Pastor Bob! Somewhere, there’s got to be a church that doesn’t change or ignore what The Bible says if it’s gonna cost ’em money.”
Last I heard, she was taking instruction to be one of those Catholics. And, Pastor Bob quit having Bible Study.
