Many governments build pyramids. Pyramids are proven to be the best and cheapest way to keep large numbers of people off the street.

People who study the Great Pyramid often see all kinds of symbolism. Many miss the point that it symbolizes that a person or organization has enough power to force hordes of people to cut, polish, and move big stones in hot weather.

When we look around us, we see that our own governments are run by pale imitations of the pyramid builders. To be sure, Americans can easily be convinced to give up huge chunks of their lives paying taxes to move stones for government projects. We don’t, of course, carry the stones ourselves, but hire drivers to move trillions of tiny stones inside concrete trucks to build roads, bridges, stadia, and all sorts of things we’re told we need. We are reluctant to face the fact of our own, part-time slavery.

Modern projects, like pyramids, are symbolic. They symbolize that modern governments hate us so much that they won’t let us build real monuments that would generate tourist income for our descendents. Most of the government projects we are forced to subsidize usually last less than a lifetime or two before they’re torn down and replaced with even greater boobery.

With real pyramids, utter and total uselessness can be mandated. Egyptian governments didn’t lie and make excuses to force people into doing something that could be made to seem useful. Our weak, modern governments corrupt their power with prevarications, “You need more roads and bridges, even though we barely try to maintain the ones we have.” Real governments, with real megalomaniacs in charge, would make us build pyramids with no silly lies and excuses about being useful. “Us, useful? We’re here to enslave you. You’re here to be slaves. Get busy.”

They’re just classier.

The stones, by the way, were paid for with goods and services “donated” at sword’s point from every village, institution, landowner, military unit, temple, bureaucracy, and foreign country that could be looted. But, Egypt’s pyramid builders were smart enough to let their citizens be free and productive enough so they could loot them for centuries.

Egypt’s city planners, unlike ours, had enough sense not to destroy all their towns and cities. They took their projects into the desert and left most of the working people alone.

We, as Catholic Fundamentalists, should love truth enough to demand real make-work instead of the fake make-work that our government is providing. We must demand that our government replace bureaucrats who pretend to be useful with ego-maniacal tyrants who will do what government does best, building bigger pyramids.

Why, with the money we’re wasting on insane programs, we should have pyramids bigger than Pike’s Peak in every state in the land, with all sorts of obscure formulas written into their sizes, shapes, and locations.

Even Herod, who was no pharaoh, was miles ahead of our own leaders when it came to vicious uselessness and wacko projects.