The oddest Bible study ever


Catholic Fundamentalism believes God programs in particles. His Particle Programs are the building blocks of neutrons and protons. He compiles them into systems and beings.

There are two kinds of things, “Things seen and unseen” in The Creation Program. From distant galaxy programs to the tiny water molecules that sustain us, “all things work together for good”.

He programmed powerful programming assistants able to push “The Celestial Repeat Button”. Presto! Galaxies, or something that looks like them, swirling with stars and planets, exploded through the universe. “Make sure they can see something as far away as their biggest telescopes will be pointed.” And,  He told His angels. “Give them very tiny things they’ll be able to see with the electron microscopes they’ll be so proud of.”

In our age of computer generated graphics and movies, see this doorway to truth more clearly than those in earlier times. “We live in The Creation Program!  It’s taken Virtual 3-D form for us in “The Big Movie”!   All the props and set decorations were written and downloaded to give us free will.”

Catholics understand!  “Each human soul is created at conception. Its spirit and body are downloaded around it. After death, the soul goes to Judgment.   Each soul meets The Critic!  Those who believed and obeyed get to spend eternity with The Loving Programmer. The disobedient do not.”

Jesus left hints about The Loving Programmer’s ability to program. When He fed many thousands with a few loaves and fishes, He showed His ability to push the Repeat Button, and download all the complicated sub-programs in bread and fish.

He also provided Catholic priests to preside over the Re-programming of bread and wine into the essence of His Body and Blood.

One of the most interesting facts He left us concerns programming power over viruses and mountains in Mt 17:14-20: “Amen, I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

When a huge mountain like Krakatoa or Mt. St. Helen is blown into smithereens and lands somewhere else, it’s usually because some Catholic is showing off. “Look! I have faith the size of a mustard seed!  See what I did!”

The oddest Bible study ever.