One of the most mystifying passages in Scripture led to developing the newest approach to The Catholic Church since Pascal developed Probability Theory and applied it to choosing a religion.
That mystifying passage is in included in Mark 10: 17-27
“Jesus looked around and said to his disciples,
“How hard it is for those who have wealth
to enter the Kingdom of God!”
The disciples were amazed at his words.
So Jesus again said to them in reply,
“Children, how hard it is to enter the Kingdom of God!
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle
than for one who is rich to enter the Kingdom of God.”
They were exceedingly astonished and said among themselves,
“Then who can be saved?”
Jesus looked at them and said,
“For men it is impossible, but not for God.
All things are possible for God.”
Until Catholic Fundamentalism, the passage about the camel going through the eye of a needle was taken metaphorically. A typical example: “There was a gate in Jerusalem’s wall that was so narrow a camel had to be unloaded to get through.”
That wasn’t enough. The founder of Catholic Fundamentalism had determined to take Scripture as literally as possible. Sitting in a green Morris chair, the following conversation took place:
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“I believe that it is possible for an actual camel to go through the eye of a needle.”
A pleasant voice responded, “How?”
“Well, if I made a huge, block-long needle, the eye would be big enough for a camel to get through.”
“It wouldn’t be a real needle. And, if you incinerated the camel, diluted its ashes in water, and used a micro pump and hypodermic needle to push them through a needle’s eye, the camel wouldn’t be able to walk. It wouldn’t be a real camel.”
“So, how can a camel go through the eye of a needle?”
“What you do is take an egg from an ovulating camel. You fertilize it. Put the fertilized egg in a drop on amniotic fluid under a microscope. Take a sterilized needle,but the eye in the drop of fluid, and you will be able to have the fertilized egg go through the needle’s eye like a ping pong ball through a basketball hoop. Reinsert the egg into the mother camel’s womb. When that camel is born, it will be a camel that has gone through the eye of a needle.”
Not even centuries of a hundred million Fundamentalist Baptists have figured that out! So much for Protestant Fundamentalism. Catholic Fundamentalism, on the other hand, has grown to explain evolution, recent creation, and and develop a greater understanding of the nature of The Trinity: Loving Programmer, Program Who Took Human Form, and Holy Wireless Connector.
While Protestants are fearfully distancing themselves from Fundamentalism, Catholic Fundamentalists are saying, “Come on in, the water’s fine!”
Catholic Fundamentalism not only takes passages like “If you do not eat My Body and drink My Blood you do not have life in you.” literally. We also look at Genesis, and conclude: “The Loving Programmer wrote and downloaded The Creation Program using actual particles and energies. It’s like a huge, very long-running 3-D movie in which each free will program is free to write his or her own script. Why? To divide sheep, who believe and obey, from goats, who don’t. Wow!”
