Letter # 6 from a Protestant minister:

Pastor Pitstop submitted another letter for publication with a request for payment.   While we are negotiating terms, he has authorized us to print the letter.  We have offered $11.00 for the rights to publish.  He is asking for $750.00.

Dear Catholic Fundamentalism:

You don’t want to know this, but the Vatican Bank is making huge amounts of money from ignorant Catholics who give them money.  Suckers!

A few of us have been telling you that the Vatican owns almost everything in the world.  The Pope is the richest man in the world.  He is the only trillionaire on earth!  His assets are hidden by The Vatican Bank and lots of holding companies.

There’s a new Pope.  He’s up to something.  He opened up the Vatican Bank’s financial records.  The Vatican Bank made $120,000,000.00 last year!

Do any of you Catholics know how much the Vatican Bank made the year before that?  Over twenty million dollars!  Same amount, for lots of years before that.  You may not think that’s very much money, especially if you’ve been reading those We Hate The Catholic Church Bulletins that describe the huge, world-wide Vatican conspiracy we’ve been warning you about.  It’s been going on, year after year!

We’ve told you that the Vatican Bank should be regulated.  Well, it turns out that the Vatican Bank actually is regulated.  That’s public information, but it was kept from us.  We could have found it, if we’d looked, but we were too busy raising funds to let people know about global corruption caused by the secret, unregulatged Vatican Bank.

What do they do with the money the Vatican Bank makes?  They say it’s given to hospitals, schools, and orphanages in poor countries.  Don’t you believe it!  Those hospitals, schools, and orphanages are rolling in money.  Those blind, crippled children have a lot more than you’d think.  We only see them costumed in rags and bandages.  When the photographers are gone, they drive off in expensive sports cars to beachfront condominiums.

I challenge every Catholic to put the huge, probably criminal, Vatican Bank in some perspective.  Do you know how much just one bank, Citibank, made last year?  Almost twelve billion dollars.  Other banks made that much, and more.  Total bank income worldwide might be in the trillions.

Then, you compare that with the 20-120 million the Vatican Bank makes.  It may seem insignificant, a hundredth of what just one of the larger banks, Citibank, makes, but that’s what they want you to think!  If you’re smart, you can see through the smokescreen.

We must let Catholics know to stop giving them money.  I mean, if a billion Catholics can support churches, schools, hospitals, dioceses, orphanages, museums, libraries and all sorts of things that governments, or my own church locally, should be doing, AND generate between twenty and one hundred and twenty million a year for the Vatican Bank, well, that’s as much as a nickel or a dime from every single Catholic in the world.  If they only knew!

Big, scary numbers. Maybe, not to you. But, the 2nd Independent United Reform Padded-Pew Perkmistianist Church is a very small, shrinking denomination. 

You know what hurts?  Two of our best people become Catholic in the last few years.  They were old, and didn’t give much.  But, half our young families have transferred to Minister McMacMack’s Mighty Mountain Mega, the huge church up the road.  We’re barely hanging on!  We had to liquidate The Picnic Farm that’s been part of our church’s heritage over half a century, donated by a wealthy family to avoid taxes on war profiteering in the ’40s. 

The Church Board had to sell the precious Picnic Farm three years ago, when one of my children was cheated out of a scholarship improperly given to a politically correct minority from Haiti or Tahiti or someplace like that.  That money’s all gone.  We have no other assets left to sell!  The Vatican Bank should lend us the money we need and forgive the loan.

They would do that, if Catholics were really Christians!  I hate them.  All that money, and not giving me any when I need it.  When my church needs it!  And, our pews need new pads!

Yours, in Christ,

Pastor Travis Pitstop