Marketing Plan Denominations need donors. 44,000 competing denominations in almost half a million churches search for supporters. They have heard that millions have left, or can be talked into leaving, The Catholic Church.
Marketing Experts are approached: “How can my church attract disaffected Catholics!”
“Our surveys show that people leave The Catholic Church because they want to feel important and ‘in charge’. They want to make their own decisions! They’re tired of being told what’s right and wrong and what to do! Millions of them want to be praised for being an ‘independent thinker’!”
Many Protestants are surprised. “Many Catholics look for excuses to leave The Church?”
“Yes! And, some with that sort of personality can be made to feel that women and gays are marginalized and they have a duty to ‘Take a stand for equal rights!’”
“You’re kidding!”
“No! And, surveys show that many of them worry more about The Environment and Climate Change than saving their own soul!”
“That’s ridiculous! The environment is cleaner than ever. There hasn’t been any Climate Change!”
“These people don’t care! Facts mean nothing to them! They are desperate to feel important! They are driven to feel ‘involved’! They want to be perceived as ‘concerned and caring’! They want praise for being ‘Relevant! They want to ‘Do their own thing!’ They will actually listen to people prattle about Imaginary Problems.”
“If they’re that shallow, how long will they stay with us?”
“They’ll stay until someone makes them feel more ‘important’, ‘useful’, ‘concerned’, and, of course, ‘vital’! Squeeze ’em while you got ’em!”
“Are you saying that those who leave The Church are vain, shallow people who simply want to be praised for doing as they please?”
“You got it exactly right, Pastor. That is exactly what our research shows. They want to be told how bright and brave they are, and be given assurance that they’re going to Heaven!”
“I can do that! How do I let them know where to find me?”
The Marketing Expert smiles. He knows: That’s where the billing begins!
