As you may have realized by now, Catholic Fundamentalists look at God, His Angels and Saints, in fact, the whole Heavenly Kingdom, as a huge, spiritual programming operation that’s able to produce and compile particles.

On earth, Microsoft, among other companies, was allowed to be brought into existence to provide a crude, human parallel to the vast Heavenly Programming Operation.

When someone has a problem with Windows, one doesn’t call Bill Gates. He calls a specialist in the appropriate department and location. There’s less clutter than crying out over the Microsoft Intercom, “Bill Gates, please help me download my new Windows update.”

As on earth, Prayers (requests for programming changes) are handled better when addressed to a specialist, like St. Mary, St. Joseph, St. Anthony, or to one of the angels, like St. Michael, St. Gabriel, or St. Raphael. Then, the Department Specialist can get authorization for a programming change from Whomever has been programmed with that authority.

It must be remembered that the answering of one prayer often runs counter to the prayers of another. For instance, if two people are praying to get the same job, the long term ramifications must be considered by high-level programmers, so that the being asked to intercede on one’s behalf doesn’t inadvertently do damage to The Programmer’s long-term designs.

One can barely imagine sorting out the billions of prayer requests pouring into Heaven to win lotteries. Someone’s prayer will be answered.

The Roman Catholic Church has long recognized the efficacy of asking Angels and Saints to intercede for them. It behooves us to pick the right one. First of all, it shows respect for The Programmer’s Organizational Chart. Secondly, it puts us more in tune with the underlying reality of the way things are.

Author's Notes:

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