Lapsed Cat’lics is wha’r the money is!
“Now, we is all dun wif’ yer trainin’. Y’all knows how ter wurk The Gian’ Baptismal Font. Y’all has been trained in operatin’ the Giant Baptismal Crane. N’, ya’ll kin handle the Baptismal Rotor. So, we be givin’ each ob you yer Offishal Engineerin’ Certyfication thereof. N’, we be giving each of you yer very […]
Young Pastor Bob learned about Holy Orders
“My Church of The Perfect Baptism is the greates’ theologicul breakthrough in the hist’ry of Baptizin’!”, exulted Pastor Big Bob to his latest class of franchisees. At the end of this class, Young Pastor Bob learned about Holy Orders and how simple they could be. His exciting, new Protestant Church featured “The Baptismal Crane and […]
Young Pastor Bob learned about Marriage
Young Pastor Bob was having a hard time in Pastor Big Bob’s Seminary of The Perfect Baptism. The powerful pumps and motors that moved a swimming pool full of water from The River Jordan through the palms and fig trees on the Baptismal Banks of the Giant Baptismal Font required actual engineering skill. And, there […]
Young Pastor Bob’s Confirmation concerns
It took almost a month for Franchisees to be ordained in Pastor Big Bob’s Seminary of The Perfect Baptism. Young Pastor Bob’s Confirmation concerns were pushed aside. “Ah’ll get to that ‘Confirmification Stuff’ later.”, Pastor Big Bob explained. “Wha’s lots more importan’ than any of that stuff is gettin’ all you guys trained on usin’ […]
Young Pastor Bob considers Communion
Young Pastor Bob considers Communion in his few weeks of theological studies at Pastor Big Bob’s Baptismal Seminary. He began by learning how to raise funds for a church building big enough to hold the Denomination’s Giant Baptismal Font. Then, he and the other students had to learn about the Giant Baptismal Font, itself. Each […]
Young Pastor Bob’s Confession concerns
Young Pastor Bob’s Confession concerns were brought up in a chance meeting with Pastor Big Bob after his brief introductory talk to his new Franchisees. He had explained, briefly, about the new, complete Baptisms in the Giant Baptismal Fonts. You’ve heard about them. Each one looks like a forty foot long section of The River […]
Making money the Pastor Bob way.
Every ambitious Protestant man needs Talking Points to make his Marketing Plan more attractive to donors to be Making money the Pastor Bob way. Donors must be identified. A Protestant man with a Marketing Plan discovers “There are 32,000,000 lapsed Catholics! Thirty Two Million! There are more lapsed Catholics than practicing Episcopalians, Presbyterians, Methodists, […]
The biggest Pastor Bob lie
This site gets posts from many intelligent Protestants. Others pass on lies they’ve been told by the low-end Pastor Bobs. The biggest Pastor Bob lie that’s appeared here was in response to a post about genocide of American Indians. Protestant Imperialists had justified killing tens of millions of Indianswith Luther’s teaching: “Such things do […]
Pastor Bob’s great, yawning gap
The heart of every Pastor Bob beats with the refrain “I am just as good as any multi-millionaire mega-church minister. And, I am just as good as some penniless Catholic priest who takes vows of Celibacy, Obedience, and Poverty. My denomination and I are just as good as any!” Catholics ask, “How can a denomination […]
Pastor Bob’s Universal Protestant Corp. has Big Plans!
Pastor Bob’s Universal Protestantism Corp. has Big Plans! Pastor Bob #44,001 memo after The Consultant Report arrives at Universal Protestantism Corporation HQ! From: Pastor Bob 44,001: To: Staff/ High Importance! As you know, we have hired McKilsome & Co as consultants to help develop a Business Plan for Universal Protestantism Corp. Part of their work […]