Pastor Bob #44,001, Internal Memo
Catholic Fundamentalism just received a confidential copy of a memo sent by the latest and greatest, history-making Pastor Bob #44,001, Internal Memo to his employees. Pastor Bob #44,001, Internal Memo: To: Staff: Thanks to all! You did a Great Job getting our initial marketing plans prepared for our first network appearance yesterday! The phones have […]
Pastor Bob
It seems like yesterday that Pastor Bob #44,001 revolutionized Protestantism. Introduced as “Pastor Bob #44,001 is the real Protestant” by a TV Business Channel moderator, He said “I am a man with a Marketing Plan! I have received A Word of Knowledge AND an MBA from Wharton! Protestants are scattered in more than 43,000 denominations, […]
Pastor Bob boo-boo #2
Catholics and better-educated Protestants are often surprised at the incredible errors taught as truth by the lower-end Pastor Bobs. Many are so desperate for donors that they lead their followers astray. We see actual examples in Pastor Bob boo-boo #2. Public schools have done such a poor job teaching history that many American adults are […]
Pastor Bob boo-boo #1
Each Protestant schism was invented by An Ambitious Man with a Marketing Plan. The collective noun that describes them? They are the “Pastor Bobs”. The efforts of tens of thousands of Pastor Bobs have resulted in 43,000 “brands” of Protestant denominations, the “Pastor Bobisms”. Pastor Bobisms run the gamut from mass murderers like Jim Jones […]
“Pastor Bob, get a job!”
Pastor Bobisms have done the devil’s work by shattering the unity of The Only Church Jesus Founded. Many Christians are completely confused by the conflicting, contradicting claims of the chaotic, clamoring 43,000 denominations. Where did they come from? Each of the 43,000 Pastor Bobisms was built around an ambitious Pastor Bob who created a Marketing […]
You can be a Pastor Bob!
So, you want to start your own, profitable schism and make the big bucks? It’s fun! It’s profitable! The hours are short! It’s not really work, it’s just simple bloviating! Here’s a short introduction to the beginning courses that Schism Seminary offers the future Pastor Bobs. Did you know that The best Pastor Bobs begin […]
Proof the Pastor Bobs are wrong
Pastor Bobs say “I believe in Jesus and The Bible.” Proof the Pastor Bobs are wrong is right in front of us. At the end of Matthew, Chapter 28, verses 19-20, The Bible tells us that Jesus said: “Go, therefore, make disciples of all the nations; baptise them in the name of The Father […]
Here’s how, Pastor Bob!
Lesson One: The young, ambitious Pastor Bob must memorize and rehearse The Vital Sentence. He must be able to use it effectively with every person, donor, potential contributors, and everyone he meets: “Jesus needs you.” If you want to be a Pastor Bob with your own giant mega-church, personal Lockheed Mission Jet, and a couple […]
Pastor Bobs need Jimmy Bigbux
Schism Seminary Announcement: Now, for a short time, Schism Seminary is offering its most popular course on the new Schism Seminary Cyber School! No need to quit your job to learn the most important revenue stream that every Pastor Bob has to have: “Pastor Bobs need Jimmy Bigbux!” Low-end Pastor Bob start-ups begin with hitting […]
Pastor Bobs demean Jesus
People avoid The Catholic Church by saying, “Jesus never mentioned the word ‘Pope’. And, The Bible never mentions the word ‘Pope’. Therefore, The Catholic Church cannot be taken seriously. In fact, I think it is a fraud!” Catholics gently reply, quoting Matthew 16: 18-20 where Jesus very clearly did tell us: “I say unto you […]